Asking For Help

It is Mental Health Awareness Week and so I am writing about asking for help.

Many of us, especially men, don’t like to ask for help. It is deemed weak and we think we can be seen as needy or less independent. BUT it’s time to let that misconception go. 

The idea that us Brits have a ‘stiff upper lip’, has left us more prone to mental health issues due to feeling alone, unsupported and sometimes totally misunderstood. As kids we should be taught to better understand our emotions, vocalise them and ask for help when we feel lost, overwhelmed, stuck or unable to make sense of what is going on. Imagine if we as a collective community were able to more easily say ‘hey, I am really struggling right now, can I ask you for help?’ What would become possible for you? For your family? For your children?

Connection/support is a human need and having the ability to ask for support when it’s needed can help to deepen the connection that we have with the people around us and ourselves too.

Would you agree that feeling overwhelmed and stuck is awful? It’s totally disempowering! Having a single conversation to hear a different perspective on whatever the issue is can create room for movement, new ideas and help to create solutions which helps us feel more empowered. WOW!

So, what stops us from asking for help when we really need it? Is it that belief that we should be able to get through this stuff alone? Is it the conditioning that we have been brought up with that teaches us that asking for help makes you less of a man or an incapable woman? 

It’s time to change the way we think about asking for help.  

It’s time to transform our thoughts and feelings about showing that we need support sometimes. Asking for help does not make us less worthy, less capable, less able to do our job, be a parent, have a great relationship. It helps us see where we need a little support. It helps us understand that it’s ok to feel vulnerable; this is an important emotion that we are here to feel. YES vulnerability is OK. 

The idea that asking for help makes us weak is an old fashioned belief - let it go. Such out-of-date conditioning needs to be forgotten. 

Part of asking for help is actually allowing others to help us. It’s a blessing to contribute to the lives of others so give people the opportunity to help you. We all learn from the exchange of energy, don’t you think? Remember a time when you helped someone out with some great advice or helped with a project? Remember that sense of contribution that triggered a deeper sense of fulfilment within you? When we refuse to ask for help then we remove that opportunity for our helper to feel good. Maybe that perspective will convince you to ask for help?

Knowing when to ask for help really is key. So, getting to know yourself on a deeper level will support you in knowing when you feel overwhelmed, when you feel stuck. Feeling stuck and overwhelmed often presents itself as anxiety or even depression. Learning to check-in with yourself and understand your own feelings is key in knowing when to ask for help and choosing the right person to go to.  

I love helping people.  It really is my dharma, it is my calling.  Please make sure that you do ask for help even if you feel like you’ve got this and you can cope.  A problem shared really is a problem halved.

Love and light,

Adele

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