It's OK to say NO

Two tiny yet powerful letters. They have the power to create boundaries that not only protect your wellbeing but create a level of self-esteem that maybe you’ve never had before.  The power of saying NO is just that, damn powerful. So, why do many of us feel bad for saying it?

We are a nation made up of polite people, especially if we have a ‘people pleasing’ aspect to us.  We find ourselves over committing and saying yes to things that don’t serve us, don’t please us and take us away from our purpose and passion. 

You know that feeling when you really don’t want to do what you’re being asked to do; you have that feeling of dread in your stomach, but you don’t want to let the other person down or you don’t want to come across as a bad friend or family member? 

That feeling is a sign.  Your body talks to your mind, so its important for you to listen because when you don’t listen to your own gut you will end up doing things that please others yet don’t please yourself.

Over time this will not only create feelings of resentment in your own body but you will end up more stressed and anxious.  You will stamp all over self-esteem that you’ve been trying so hard to build if you fail to use these tiny little letters that create the little but powerful word; NO!

What happens when you say NO?

When you say no to other people you are actually saying yes to yourself.  You are putting yourself first.  The thing is, for years we’ve been taught to put others before ourselves, that we come last, that it’s selfish to prioritise ourselves.  Now, let me tell you that those old beliefs are outdated and won’t serve you well if you are on the journey into self-love, self-acceptance and inner peace.

Self-care is no longer a luxury, it really is a necessity, now more than ever.  If we don’t take care of ourselves first we will get lost amongst the demands of other people.

I was talking to a lovely lady about this today and she was explaining that it took her a cancer diagnosis and recovery to finally have the ability to say no to others and start saying YES to herself. Now she has the intention of working on her own self-love, acceptance, personal growth and really giving herself permission to open herself up to the wonderful opportunities that life has the potential to bring to her.  Do not let it take a cancer diagnosis or a health crisis for you to finally start putting yourself first and saying NO to what no longer serves you, to what doesn’t support you on your journey into your place of happiness and health.

There is one bit of advice that I would give you if you are struggling to say no to things. When you have been asked to do something, check-in with yourself to see how things FEEL in your body.  Check-in and if you need more time because you are not sure how you feel then say “would you mind if I got back to you on this later?” this will give you a bit of time to evaluate the situation so that you can work out if you are pleasing yourself or you are pleasing others. 

LEARN TO SAY NO WITHOUT HAVING TO EXPLAIN TO OTHERS WHY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY YOUR DECISIONS. 

YOU CAN DO THIS! 

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.. XXX